he's sleeping. i'm writing.

It is 2:30 in the morning and I have just finished reading, "The Time Traveler's Wife." I couldn't put the book down! I love books that are that way. The book was slow to start and then the more and more I read, the more and more I wanted to read. I'm always a sucker for a love story.

As I was reading and even now, Matt is laying next to me sound asleep. All I can think about while he is here next to me right now is that I want to be with him for all of the time that I have here. I don't want to miss a second with him. While I was reading and he was curled up next to me I couldn't help but to stop reading and just hold him. I know he didn't know I was doing it, but the story is all about "waiting" and I just felt so happy to know that I didn't have to wait anymore to find him...he's right here with me. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have Matt. He loves me more than I ever could have imagined I would ever be loved. Tonight we were sitting on the couch; just talking and thinking about everything that is going on right now and he said to me, "You're my number 1, you will always be my number 1 and you will always come first." I don't think he expected me to from him saying that because he looks at it as a given, but it made me cry. Just to know and feel that he loves me more than anything in the whole world and to know that and believe him when he tells me things like that...it's amazing. The best feeling I've ever known.
I hope that we always have this feeling. I hope that there will be nights when we're in our 30's or 50's and our 90's where I lay next to him at night and know that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have him. Nights where I can't help watching him when he sleeps or to just hold him so tight and make sure he feels as much love from me as I feel from him. I can't even get it out in words how much I love Matt. Every single day I love him more. I have heard people say that before, but never knew it was really possible. I wonder how much I'll love him when we're 43. It will be an absolute crazy amount! ...I am crazy about him...(even when he's driving me crazy)...that's a good sign.